Valentines day, life and beyond...
As I sat in my office today, trying to get my head round the huge "To do" list that sat on my desk, I started to ponder.
So here I am, another Valentines day, another year, still a single guy. Does it bother me? Maybe a little, but I'm not going to start ripping myself apart over it. Its one of the things most friends who I haven't seen for a while ask me, am I seeing anyone, is there anyone on the horizon. I'll be honest and say yeah, I really wanna find that special girl to be with but at the same time I'm in no rush. The most important thing for me is finding the right person, I don't want to just run into the first relationship that comes my way.
One of my ambitions in life is to get married and have kids, I don't know why but for a while now I've wanted to be a dad. I know its not easy being a parent but its just something I really want to do. But as I start thinking about my future more and more, I seem to face a dilemma. I'm 21 now, gonna be 22 this year and to me that feels like I'm gonna be really old, but I know I'm not. Those of you who know me know 2 of my passions in life are being a muso/techy and my ideal job would be somewhere in these fields. The thing is within these spheres most jobs are not very family friendly, often working long unsociable hours, being away from home for long periods and having to put a lot of work and effort in to get anywhere. They're mostly not 9-5 jobs and most of you probably know I couldn't really cope with a 9-5 job anyway. So here is my dilemma. Can I do what I really want to do and have a family? Or somewhere down the line am I going to have to choose one way or the other.
I don't wanna be the kind of dad/husband who is never there for his wife and kids or who is always away working, but at the same time I dont wanna being doing something I'm not passionate about. I guess the key is finding the right lady as well. I recently read Lance Armstrong's biography and he had an amazing wife who supported him through and stood right by his side through his Cancer recovery, and onwards as he started to re-build his career in cycling and went onto to win the Tour de France. She stood by him and supported him all the way, and had their baby during this time as well. But really its a 2 way thing because he had to be there for her and support her when it really mattered as well.
I guess thats the thing about marriage, you're not 2 separate people anymore, you become one. Well atleast thats what I've heard people say. Thats why I think its so important to find the right person, someone who understands me. But will I ever find that person?
Any thoughts please post.
posted by Holy Joely at 10:52 pm
5 Comments:
I know plenty of married couples where one or both partners have odd-houred jobs.
As for fatherhood; I know what you mean. In my case, I will forever be an uncle - nothing more.
Big questions, my dear boy. These are big, big questions!
Big thoughts, big questions, big blog too.
Mate, get this, for the last three years I've been driving around a Peugeot 306 estate - a family-sized car. I just bought a house to work out of when I graduate - it's a semi in the suburbs - a family house. I turned 22 one week and one day before valantines - and I'm still single.
I need a family.
But yeah, i ain't gonna rush, i can wait. best way really.
In my experience, running into the first relationship that comes your way is the best way to find that special person! He he!
Remember, your biological clock is not as fixed as a woman's clock is - you can have your kids later, plus women tend to prefer a males who are slightly older as it indicates that they're more ready to settle down.
Job wise - you can have your cake and eat it. (mmmm...cake) You can spend the next few years living the dream - working those unsocial hours and learning your craft and then if you really want the 9-5, how about lecturing? You could be the new Ross!
Hello,
you should blog more, cos this hasn't been updated since I last came this way and commented, save for one more comment.
The main reason I am here though is to plug my new band: Steve Down & the Swiss Family Robinson! Let me know what you think mate!
Hey Joel, So I started at the most recent and am working back. Do the music thing...one thing I've learnt about being married - or in a relationship for that matter - is that you need your own passions to bring to the relationship to keep it vibrant. Make the most of being single it's the perfect state when it comes to a life of giging and think of all the people you'd meet along the way, who knows maybe Mrs Joel might be out there in the crowd somewhere...
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